Archived Edition of Chromatic Musings

Some driving tips for DC

• Rain causes an immediate 50 point drop of IQ in drivers. Snow causes an immediate 100 point drop in IQ and a rush to the local supermarket for toilet paper, bread and milk. IF it might snow, schools will be closed. If it is already snowing then the bus will pick up the children and they will immediately CLOSE the schools after 8 inches of snow has fallen. All parents must leave work upon arrival to pick up their children.
• The morning rush hour is from 5 to 11 AM. The evening rush hour is from 1 to 8 PM. The lunch rush is from 11 AM to 1 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning, especially during the summer on Route 50 eastbound.
• Traveling south out of DC on Interstate 395/95 is the most dangerous, scariest thing you will ever do. There is nothing more frightening than seven lanes of traffic cruising along at 75 mph, BUMPER TO BUMPER. It's not speeding, it's NASCAR time, let's DRAFT!!!
• Of course you could take the subway, known locally as The Metro. Remember that either the Orange or Red line will be shut down or single tracked due to an accident. Unless both are shut down or single tracked. This is most likely to happen during rush hour. The escalators rarely work, the elevators even more rarely. However, the trains are very clean, kept that way by highly motivated police who will not hesitate to arrest a 12 year old for eating a french fry.

Wiredog offers quite a few insights.