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The KISS army -- one of entertainment's true marketing success stories -- has had it's low points, too.
Today, Kiss has become the worst possible parody of itself, a traveling Vegas act located at the intersection of nostalgia and bloated bombast. The band's contempt for its audience is palpable. Simmons smirks about ripping off Kiss fans in his books, which, of course, are purchased solely by Kiss fans.
This isn't merchandising -- it's meta-merchandising. The Kiss online store features a stunning array of products; it makes Insane Clown Posse's setup look like a Kool-Aid stand. There are $750 "premium gold edition" boxed sets, $800 casino chips, and Gene Simmons Underoos. And yes, you can still buy a Kiss lunch box, except now there are four to choose from.
When a band gets this absurd, it's hard to list every wince-inducing moment, but some lowlights stand out from the rest. As part of my ongoing therapy, then, here are the ten worst moments in Kisstory.
10. The much-hyped unmasking One look at Simmons and it was obvious why they'd gone with full face paint in the first place.
8. The long good-bye Kiss played its first farewell tour eight years ago. Since then, the band has been busy -- busy touring, that is. Last year, it played arenas with Aerosmith. This summer, it's hitting the sheds with Poison. Can an outing with White Lion be far off?
2. Kiss Kondoms You'll need one of these for your "band experience." Varieties include "tongue lubricated Gene" and "studded Paul." Yeech. Really the lowest point in the history of rock merchandising. Makes the coffin seem tasteful by comparison.
Thanks to David for the tip.
Posted by Casper at June 24, 2004 10:38 AM