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A cat nursing on a woman's breasts (NSFW, of course). Need I say more?
Thanks (I think) to Mark for the tip.
Just like the last cool commerical from Honda, this is a must see (click "watch").
Bob Denver (AKA Gillligan) dead at 70 from complications.
Either way, this is one of the best sports related commercials I've seen in quite some time.
Okay, what's up with the Oscars? Was there a memo sent out saying, "Please, dress in black. And, while you're at it, can you make your skin tone be as white as possible? We're trying to bring back the goth look."
Also, not liking the whole "we'll annouce an award out in the crowd".
This is probably something that Howard Stern already knows, but it seems that TV has discovered the axiom of lesbians == ratings.
A FAQ for people trying to figure out TiVo:
Q: Will I watch more or less television once I have TiVo?
A: You will not watch any television whatsoever. You will watch TiVo. Television has commercials. TiVo has only magnificent moving-picture programming filled with people you recognize and love because they are famous—not anonymous acting drones who have acid indigestion and limp penises and need life insurance.
Q: Will TiVo change my life?
A: No, TiVo will not change your life so much as He will destroy your previous life, permitting a new and improved life to rise, phoenix-like, from your ashes. Switching from cable television to satellite is “change.” Moving to TiVo is closer to rebirth.
Thanks to Rex for the tip.
I've said it before, but pretty much the only reason why I watch the Super Bowl is for the commercials. This year, there actually was a game, but the commercials were woefully inadequate.
I rather suspect it was the whole Janet imbroglio, but everything was safe, sound and completely boring. The only commerical that even got me to laugh at all was the cat killer one. The monkeys for Careerbuilder were amusing, as was the P. Diddy/Diet Pepsi truck spot. But for the most part, there was no there there.
The only company that even tried anything was GoDaddy. The ad was not in particularly good taste, mostly making fun of the entire 'wardrobe malfunction' concept, but they couldn't have bought this much free advertising. Once the NFL saw the first iteration of the spot, they complained and yanked the second one. Bravo, gentlemen, bravo.
A hip-hop remix version of an old movie classic, all in service of selling a car.
If there was something that you wanted to know about Buffy the Vampire Slayer, this is the place to go.
DirecTV will be competing against TiVo. It seems to me that most of the TiVo sales has been from DirecTV imbedding the product in their receivers, so I'd suspect that TiVo is on a limited lifespan at this point.
The author of the EarthSea books talks about how the SciFi channel took her books and turned the to garbage.
The thing is, they'd probably would do each other, if just to get on TV some more.
If you look really careful at the center of the photo where their hands meet, you can actually see a tiny black hole of talent. It's incredible.
But there it is. Generation X's premiere sex symbol passing the torch to Generation Y's. It's like when Joe DiMaggio played next to Mickey Mantle, or when Screech became Mr. Belding's assistant for Saved By The Bell: The New Class.
First, the good news. Their own website, then a Disney movie. Now, the bad news. Disney owns them.
Tivo, one of my favorite toys at home, has made a rather poor decision. Now, when you try to fast forward past the commercials on a recording, a banner ad will appear.
Great.
Ashlee Simpson really wants a second go round at SNL.
Josh Whedon, creator of Buffy, Angel, Firefox as well as having his hand in a number of other projects, is walking away from TV for awhile.
"I spent a lot of time trying to think what my next series would be," Whedon said. "I couldn't think of anything. When that happens, it generally means something is just not working. I didn't feel like I could come up with anything that the networks would want."
Give that man a cigar for not forcing crap he didn't want to do on the rest of us. If only all artists felt that way.
Acid Reflux?!? That's the best that Ashlee could come up with?
Weak.
From Scott and from Pop Justice, complete with clips.
So it's Saturday night. It's live TV. It's quite literally Saturday Night Live. Ashlee's on the show to perform whichever of her songs she's releasing next and, after Jude Law introduces the performance, Ashlee's band start to play. Ashlee throws some Avril moves. It's impressive stuff - the band are performing totally live, meaning that Ashlee is real, just like her music. And then, out of nowhere, Ashlee's voice appears. Except she's not singing. And the vocals are for 'Pieces Of Me' - the song she'd played earlier on in the show. Clearly, Ashlee had been intending to mime her vocals.
Ashlee reacts by doing what any of us would do if our entire career and already flimsy credibility were at stake: she does a little dance. It's like a pixie dance. Then she stops. And then she does it again, before muttering an obscenity and then exiting, stage right.
The band play on, and the best thing about the whole sequence is this brief exchange of looks between two of Ashlee's band members.
While I was trying to fix my footboard, SNL was on the tube as background noise. I caught Ms. Simpson's first tune (Pieces of Me, I think it's called), and it was pretty straightforward and standard. Later on in the show, Jude Law introduced her again. The band started playing some song, but then what was obviously a recorded vocal track came on -- Ashley Simpson "singing" Pieces of Me again.
The musicians on stage covered for her, switching immediately to playing Pieces again. Ashleuy was pretty clearly embarassed, did a little dance and then ran off the stage. The best part were the musicians who were looking at each other, trying not to laugh.
Jon Stewart talks about what it was like being on Crossfire.
Jon Stewart takes Crossfire to task. From the transcript:
BEGALA: Let me get this straight. If the indictment is -- if the indictment is -- and I have seen you say this -- that...
STEWART: Yes.
BEGALA: And that CROSSFIRE reduces everything, as I said in the intro, to left, right, black, white.
STEWART: Yes.
BEGALA: Well, it's because, see, we're a debate show.
STEWART: No, no, no, no, that would be great.
BEGALA: It's like saying The Weather Channel reduces everything to a storm front.
STEWART: I would love to see a debate show.
BEGALA: We're 30 minutes in a 24-hour day where we have each side on, as best we can get them, and have them fight it out.
STEWART: No, no, no, no, that would be great. To do a debate would be great. But that's like saying pro wrestling is a show about athletic competition.
And it actually gets a lot better....
So what's does it say when the most honest thing said on TV in quite some time is from a comedian?
A bunch of clips showing the title sequence of old TV shows. Features such chesnuts as Battlestar Galactica, Fraggle Rock and Magnum PI.
Thanks to David for the tip.
Michael Jackson is upset that Eminem's latest video (for Just Lose It) makes fun of MJ with some kids. BET has decided to pull the video from their airwaves. Which will have the net effect of making anyone who watches BET want to see the video all the more, just to see what the hoo-doo is all about.
1.2 million dollars, to be exact, over racy footage in the Married To America reality show. Said footage involved strippers covered with whipped cream and digitally obscured nudity.
I've said this before, and I'll say it again -- turn the frickin' channel!. Why should bawdy behaviour on Fox be surprising to anyone?
As usual, the Daily Show's coverage of the debate is absolutely priceless.
while interviewing the "undecided"
Why can you not decide? Keanna.... How the #(@$ do you dress yourself in the morning? You can't make any decisions. They're so @)*%&@ different. I don't (&2@#*&! get this @)(*$. How can you not decide!?
Yes, thank you, undecided voters, for helping me make a decision.
I'm just going go and drown myself.
I'm really hoping that Lisa posts a few clips.
-- Update --
In the interim, here's a bit torrent of the daily show. (Thanks, Cory!)
The BareNaked Ladies may be getting their own TV show.
I'm sure you've heard this already, but Conan O'Brien will be taking over for Jay Leno in 2009. Congrats, Conan; here's hoping that you don't mainstream your humor for an hour earlier.
All the music you could want and more.
CBS fined a little over a half million dollars. Maybe now this will just go away.
I'm pretty sure that this is not a real commercial, but it's still pretty nifty.
His reality series will appear on Bravo.
Some of these are pretty darn good.
Ever wondered where to find things in the Simpson's home town? Now you know.
I make no secret about my opinion for TiVo (easily the best development in home entertainment in quite some time). Given my penchant for geeky web stuff, the step-by-step how-to to web-enable a TiVo almost excites me to an embarassing degree.
Thanks to Waxy for the tip.
For a big burger, although the name of the clip might cause you to think something a little more, um, recreational.
Thanks to Rex for the tip.
This ad is worth a good chuckle.
Thanks to Lynn for the tip.
Uncle Grambo gets it right. The VMAs this year reeked.
From the files of "things-I-never-really-wondered", here's a page of what would happen if various members of The Simpsons had offspring.
Bobby Brown may get his own reality show on Bravo. No word if the drug buys will be on or off camera.
Go on MTV Videa Music Awards, get lots of free stuff:
- iPod
- Versace sunglasses
- a diamond bracelet
- a year's supply of Wonka chocloate
Must be nice.
Brandy, having found that the pop world has largely forgotten about her, wants to go back to the small screen to resurrect what's left of her career.
I'm watching the opening ceremonty to the 2004 Olympics in Athens. I've got two quick thoughts:
The musical selection played as the last group countries entered the stadium (just prior to Greece) was Agnus Dei. AGNUS DEI!?! A requiem for the dead?!? On what planet is this an appropriate welcome to the sport? It's a great song (3rd track, if you're interested), very moving, but probably just a touch out of place
Scott gives us a little sneak peek.
I sorta like Bands Reunited the first time around; hopefully this one will be good, too.
Telemundo, home to overly melodramatic soap operas and dubbed films from the 80's (along with other things, to be fair), is expending great effort to get their on screen personalities to change their accents.
Mexican Spanish, Telemundo says, hits a middle ground between Colombian Spanish, which the network considers too fast and terse, and some Caribbean accents that are too slow and imprecise. Telemundo executives say Mexican Spanish is the broadest-appeal, easiest-to-understand Spanish -- if Telemundo's coaches can iron out its typical sing-song cadence. In other words, it becomes the Nebraskan of Spanish.
First off, congrats to the SP team, this is a big win for them financially. I'm just hoping that this doesn't result in South Park toning down their writing.
SP was painfully funny when they first came out, and then they lost their way for a while. In the last season or two, they've found their footing again, coming up with some wicked funny satire. I just hope that the FCC decency requirements won't cause them to tone it down.
The Knight Rider car is for sale. Well, one of them, at least.
Thanks to David for the tip.
Say it isn't so?! (and there was much rejoicing)
Drea de Matteo, formerly of The Sopranos and presently of Joey, uses fake boobs on the show. That's not what caught my eye, though. What did is this little sentence:
"In the auditions, we had all kinds of women coming in with real ones, fake ones. It was sort of interesting," executive producer/writer Scott Silveri said. "We chose Drea, but we stopped short of making her go under the knife just for a sitcom."
Excuse me? Making her go under the knife? I'm glad that you had the decency to stop her from get surgery "just for a sitcom." Had it been a movie, cut away!
The hip place for late night TV these days is Cartoon Network's Adult Swim.
Unless you're one of its growing number of insomniac fans, you may not have heard of Adult Swim. But these shows are among the most innovative, and increasingly popular, new programs on television today. The block includes such off-kilter postmodern cartoons as "Aqua Teen Hunger Force," a send-up of classic action-hero shows starring a life-sized talking milkshake prone to such bizarrely ill-informed pronouncements as "plaque is a figment of the liberal media and the dental industry to scare you into buying useless appliances and pastes"; "Sealab 2021," a workplace comedy where nobody can ever leave the underwater office; "Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law," a "Perry Mason"-like spoof in which a winged superhero with a law degree defends famous cartoon figures accused of various crimes; and "Home Movies," a show about a single mom, her movie-making son, and his alcoholic soccer coach, all united in their mutually amiable incompetence.
The Adult Swim fare now consistently rates as the top block in its time slot on cable among the coveted young adult demographic. In the last year alone, the ratings for the entire three-hour block jumped by over 60 percent, from around 180,000 viewers to 431,000 viewers (as of April); a few shows in the block, like "Family Guy" (about a dysfunctional Rhode Island family), regularly draw more than a million viewers. Most of those viewers are young men. In fact, for males age 18-24, Adult Swim now demolishes the ratings of broadcast standbys like Leno and Letterman--beating Leno by 36 percent and Letterman by a whopping 87 percent.
I've seen a number of these shows (thank you Tivo -- I don't stay up as late as I used to), and they are definitely inventive.
One of the more interesting aspects of the article is how it talks about the way in which this creativity was allowed to happen:
...[T]he good stuff tends to come when nobody's looking--created by those on the fringes of the studio system, occupying marginal creative real estate with minimal supervision.
Kind of like what happens in the music world where the interesting music comes out of the minors, not the majors, huh?
At least you don't live in England, where there is a reality show starting that will feature porn stars and average joes.
Salon magazine has what they consider to be the top ten on camera screw-ups. "I'll sue you" and "Leaping lizards" are good ones.
I think this was supposed to be an infomercial for Winnebago, but I'd be afraid to count just how many f-bombs he lets loose during it. Probably not something you should listen to at work.
I'm not even sure what SourceNext does (something software/cell phone-ish, I think), but they have some interesting commercials.
I don't know what this means. It certainly doesn't say "Buy our poo-goo" to me, but nothing in this commercial does. Does he have a bomb in his ass? Is it a coded message from the Pepto Rebellion?
From someone who really doesn't like the latest commercial from Pepto-Bismol.
Thanks to Emma for the tip.
Coming soon to a cable channel near you, Gifted, "a Christian version of the popular American Idol TV show".
Just think about Cartman doing this, and everything will work out okay.
More oddness from the land of the rising sun:
We'll close with the Kick The Can Crew.
From SpecSpot, a place where aspiring directors make commericals for real products, hoping to get signed.
Here's an ad for Budweiser, a strange/disgusting one for Tide, one for Canon and an MTV spot featuring Ron Jeremy.
Thanks to Jeff for the tip.
One of the pleasures of HBO's The Sopranos has been the consistent use of quality music to enhance a scene. Some of the ones that immediately come to mind are Junior singing in Italian at the end of the season a few years ago, or Tony sitting on his boat by himself at the end of the prior season. Alex Ross has a few words on the subject.
What do Procol Harum, Anton Webern, the Eagles, Steve Reich, and Otis Redding have in common? The answer, the Pulaski Skyway informs you, is that they've all appeared on The Sopranos. I’m a fan of the show, like any upstanding American citizen, and I love its wildly imaginative use of music. I realized something quasi-epochal was going on musically back in the second season...
Namely, that it's hard to compete with free.
Based on the book and movie Ghost In The Shell, a TV show has sprung up in Japan called Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex. From the review, it looks to be quite interesting.
The criminal stories are often simple, but that’s almost beside the point. The real question isn’t who the culprit is but why the culprit did it: The series depicts intricate infighting within the government, with the intelligence agencies jockeying with the police and the military while the Department of Health uses other departments as tools for its own schemes.
In the cyberpunk novels and films of the 1980s, the future was usually run by megacorporations that had taken over all the functions of government. Ghost in the Shell takes a slightly different road. Rather than vanishing, the government becomes symbiotic with the corporations: a corporate state.
Such corporatism, of course, is hardly alien to Japan -- or to Europe and America, for that matter. The show merely pushes the idea further. Corruption in a company spills over to the government and vice versa; trade secrecy and national security combine to eliminate transparency. Unlike many science fiction dystopias, this one seems uncomfortably realistic.
I know that I rather enjoyed the film when it came out.
Andre has a great write-up on both Buffy the Vampire Slayer and it's spinoff show, Angel.
The casualty is quality television, of course. Television that challenges and moves while it entertains, television that utilizes the medium’s inherent serial nature to really connect an audience with characters’ lives, television that goes beyond what television normally tries. Just look at Joss Whedon’s recent history: Buffy ended at seven seasons through a mutual agreement between Whedon and star Sarah Michelle Gellar, but his fledgling (and fantastic) Firefly was unceremoniously dumped after half a season, and Angel was hacked off at the knees during one of its most successful runs.
And I can’t fail to mention Tim Minear’s Wonderfalls. Minear co-produced Angel for years, writing some of the best episodes, and he left to develop a show about a strange girl who hears strange voices. It was yet another expensive, challenging endeavor, and Fox canned it after four episodes. The reality is that Fox will simply make more money by releasing the Complete Series DVD set than they would in advertising revenue by airing the remaining seven episodes.
I was a big fan of both shows; each one took chances and (for the most part), they paid off. The last season of Buffy never quite came together, and the 4th season of Angel (the next to last) was an all or nothing thing -- you either bought all the way into the entire ride, or it was a lost cause. Whedon's writing was some of the best I have seen on TV; I'm going to miss it.
American Bandstand is going to be resurrected by Simon Cowell's company (the same good folk who bring us American Idol).
But I know that some people do. My caption for this photo of the spastic white guy (his name is Clay Aiken or something, right?) from American Idol: "Really! I'm not gay! See!!"
Simon, from American Idol, does the 20 questions thing.
HEFFERNAN Several of the "American Idol" performers have gospel in their pasts, and in interviews they make frequent references to God. What do you make of the religious element to the show?
COWELL Well, you know the answer to the question, don't you? Obviously a lot of people are using it to gain votes. Come on. You know that, and I know that. I also don't like the constant dedications to children. Give me a break. Like Fantasia, who has an edge on her. I think she's used her kid twice now in the show. And you just think: "Enough. You're now behaving like a politician rather than a pop star." It all becomes a bit gruesome.
If you were wondering what the Friends spin off Joey is going to be like (and I know that some of you are), here's a sneak peek.
Really. This version could happen....
It would seem that there are at least three full length epsiodes floating about on the web (mostly via bit torrent). However, at least one place has them. Only problem here is that two of the episodes don't seem to play nicely with Windows Media Player.
Thanks to Frank for the tip.
Her sitcom didn't get picked up (everyone now, "Awww, darn it"), but at least she'll be making commercials for breath mints.
I just saw a commerical for Starbucks double shot expresso in a can. It featured the 80's group Survivor singing a little ditty about a guy named Glen. To the tune of Eye Of The Tiger
Glen!
Glen Glen Glen!
Glen Glen Glennnnn!
Glen's the man
Goin' to work
Got his tie,
Got ambition
He knows one day he just might become
Supervisor....
You really have to see this. They're dolled up in leather pants and bright silk shirts, playing the song as Glen goes to work.
The years have not been kind to them, but at least they have work.
And, as a side note, if anyone can find the audio to this, I'd love to have it for work....
-- Update --
I managed to find a clip online.
Apparently, this weekend was the last show for SNL's Jimmy Fallon. Good luck with whatever comes next, Jimmy.
A Wrinkle In Time (a book from my childhood) was made into a TV movie (it aired tonight, but I had a show and missed it). The author of the book had a pithy review:
NEWSWEEK: So you’ve seen the movie?
Madeleine L’Engle: I’ve glimpsed it.
And did it meet expectations?
Oh, yes. I expected it to be bad, and it is.
Thanks to Maude for the tip.
Personally, I rather dislike spoilers. I'd rather find out what happens over the course of the story rather than skipping to the end of the book. But that's just me. Other people like spoilers.
It's an odd wish — for control of the story, for the chance to minimize your risk of disappointment. With spoilers in hand, a viewer can watch the show with distance, analyzing like a critic instead of being immersed like a newbie. The emphasis isn't so much on the plot's outcome but on how the writers get there, and on the unexpected twists they add along the way. But the price for that privilege is that you never really get to watch a show for the first time.
Apparently at one point during the salary negioations, the good folk at Fox told the voice actors that they could all be replaced. Great strategy, guys, particularly for a show that the CEO of the company has called "Fox's greatest single asset."
Thanks to Defamer for the tip.
Big Tom has been voted off of Survivor. Normally, I wouldn't care, but Big Tom is from a part of the world where I grew up. I remember watching him on the Africa show and being really jealous of him when he got to go to the Serrengetti (somewhere that I've always wanted to go).
I've noticed this for some time with the NBC scheduling.
NBC has scheduled the final broadcast of Friends to start tonight at 8.59 p.m. Why? To beat TiVo recording, obviously. I'm not sure if they don't want us to watch the penultimate episode of Survivor: All-Stars (confession: I'm addicted). But it's clear that starting it a minute early is intended to disrupt digital recording of shows that run 8:00 to 9:00 p.m. The fix is simple. On my ReplayTV, I just set a manual record from 9:00 to 10:00 for NBC (or I could set an 8:00 to 8:59 Survivors recording). But it's clear that this is a direct DVR pushback. But how does this help the network? I link to a post about Fear Factor in which the thread explores on a discussion board why Fear Factor was getting chopped or not recording.
My solution? NBC loses with me. So I don't watch a few shows on NBC: hardly a big loss for me. I'll take the freedom that TiVo gives me any day of the week over "Must See TV".
Thanks to Xeni for the tip.
I don't know if you've heard about this, but some show is going off the air tonight. All I can say is "Finally."
-- Update --
If you happen to miss this episode (and gosh darn it, I've got a rehearsal tonight), the Friends finalé will be released on DVD within a week.
No, not Weird Al on MTV (that I might even consider watching). Nope, Al Gore is starting his own TV network. Yippee.
Fox played hardball, and they caved.
I've been a fan of South Park for some time. Their movie was absolutely brilliant -- both as a parody and as a satire. No less than the Grey Lady herself has noticed the sublime writing of the show:
This sounds almost ingratiatingly sane. If "South Park" is one of television's great comedies, it's not great for being reckless; it's great for being a series of funny, topical parables.
Take the end of "The Passion of the Jew." After the holy war subsides, Stan tells fans of the Gibson movie: "If you want to be Christian, that's cool, but you should follow what Jesus taught instead of how he got killed. Focusing on how he got killed is what people did in the Dark Ages, and it ends up with really bad results."
-- Update --
Eppy has some thoughts on the NY Times review.
It's not just Britney faking it. Christina Aguilera has made a commercial for Virgin Mobile in which she fakes an orgasm much like Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally.
To me, the best part of watching SNL (actually, the only part) is the Weekend Update segment. Fey's writing style tends to make for good jokes.
Let me start off by saying I don't watch American Idol. It rewards style over substance and is all that is everything bad about karaoke writ large. But I have sat through this season once or twice, so I feel I can speak to this just a bit.
John Stevens is still in the running? Why in God's name is he still on the show? Actually, why was ever on the show? I'm sure he's the nice guy that everyone says he is, but the show is supposedly about who can sing well, not who has the best manners. The times that I have suffered through his work, he was atrocious. That he's gotten as far as he has is almost an indictment of democracy. (Yes, I know this isn't true democracy as one person can vote multiple times, but you get my point).
Simon has a thought or two on this as well:
Surely its the first time a vote has been so stupid that even the host starts to berate the people who called in? Ryan Seacrest started to admonish the audience after they kicked out Jennifer Hudson and left in Charles Kennedy [e]rm, John Stevens.
And what would form did that berating take?
America, don't forget you have to vote for the talent. You have to keep your favorites in the competition. You cannot let talent like this slip through the cracks.
For now, let's leave out whether or not the "talent like this" that AI has is so worth saving. I think I would pretty much chose the dulcet tones of cats humping over Mr. Stevens, um, singing.
Or, the guy who did his voice (as well as the distinctive laugh) has moved on to other things.
Simon Cowell, best known to Americans as the acerbic British critic/meanie on American Idol, has started his own talent show.
The millionaire music entrepreneur's new show, which is being called The X Factor, will scrap upper age limits.
Inspired by the success of older artists in the charts, the Pop Idol judge has decided that anyone over the age of 16 can audition to become the next star.
The show will also see Cowell, who is famed for his put-downs, compete with two other judges - tipped to be Scary Spice Mel B and Westlife manager Louis Walsh - for the public's vote for the winning artist.
Allowing people who are over the age of thirty to compete is a welcome idea, and, if nothing else, I'm glad to see that Mel B is getting work again.
Some tips that might come in handy, should the crew from MTV's Cribs drop by. Some examples:
- It's not a "room". It's an "area". Ex: "Dis here the pool area." or "Here go the kitchen area."
- They are not friends. They are dawgz.
- On the day of taping, you must have a minimum of 8 to 10 dawgz kickin' it in your pool, studio and theater areas.
- Consider trading a Lexy for a pit bull, Rottweiler or other menacing dog.
- If possible, breed or buy a chrome Rottweiler.
Thanks to Frank for the tip.
I'm not the only one who found Mel Gibson's opus a little on the violent side. It doesn't look like TV's much in the mood to display the film in the living rooms of John Q. Public.
Spongebob Squarepants is coming to the big screen.
Someone -- anyone -- please help out here:
Buoyed by the success of last week's ABC variety show, The Nick & Jessica Variety Hour, the camera-friendly pair is set to return for a Christmas special.
...Also on the horizon for TV's most goofily endearing (or is it annoying?) couple:
- A new season of MTV's Newlyweds is set to debut in June. The Lacheys just wrapped the second season of their dysfunctional domestic reality series.
- Last fall, Jessica inked a solo sitcom deal with the Alphabet net. (The show's currently in development.)
- Nick recently signed his own deal with ABC, snagging a role in a sitcom pilot starring Gina Gershon called Hot Mom.
- She's considering possible roles in The Dukes of Hazzard, I Dream of Jeannie and Marvel's Mort, the Dead Teenager.
- He's considering running for mayor of Cincinnati, where he grew up. The job, once held by TV talker Jerry Springer, "would be an interesting role to play," Lachey told People magazine.
There must be an end to this madness. Use of claymore mines are hereby offically authorized.
Tampons, which I have foolishly thought were just for, well, women, seem to be branching out:
"Foxy Lady" Harisu will be the first transgender individual to appear in an advertisement for menstrual pads.
From the middle of next month, Harisu will be appearing as a model in television and magazine ads for imported "UFT" sanitary napkins.
She'll get a guaranteed W100 million an ad for three months. The selection of Harisu, a transsexual, as the model for menstrual pads is setting the advertising world on fire.
Up till now, male stars like Go Su and Gam U-seong have appeared in sanitary napkin ads, but never has a transgender individual appeared in an ad for such a feminine product. The Taiwanese firm UFT really tried hard to cast Harisu in its ads. In fact, when the singer first learned what the company wanted her to market, she was quite hesitant to agree to the project.
The part that really strikes me is not that a transgender person is hawking tampons, but rather than male stars have been selling them for sometime. I can't quite see this one. Maybe it's just me, but I'm not going to buy something for my prostrate that Britney Spears or Janet Jackson flacks, no matter how good a job they're doing at it.
Thanks to Mark for the tip.
I elected not to watch the Nick & Jessica Variety show. Not that I'm surprised, but it seemed to have been a rather bad experience.
"Variety Hour" was straight from Desperation City, a show that aimed merely to achieve so-bad-it's-good status. But as Susan Sontag warned long ago, you can't be camp on purpose. "Variety Hour" is just so bad it's terrible.
"There's not going to be any singing or dancing on this show," Jessica told the audience near the beginning. She was trying to be facetious but it turned out to be truth in labeling. Neither she nor Lachey showed much musical ability, whether trilling special lyrics to "Up, Up and Away" and "Aquarius" or closing the hour with a Sonny-and-Cher tribute, "I Got You, Babe."
Pretty as she is, Simpson brings to mind a braying mule when she goes for those really loud notes and opens her mouth as wide as it will go. Her face distorts into a parody of "The Scream."
Ouch.
Combining the goodness of Britney Spear and the wholesomeness of reality TV, a new reality show featuring Britney may be in the works. One can only thnk that the Littlest Bachelor is concerned about this run at his dignity.
Victoria Secret's has elected to not show their "fashion" show this year.
The announcement came less than three months after the Jackson uproar and a week after federal regulators proposed $495,000 in fines against Clear Channel Communications for sexual material on the Howard Stern show.
I guess they have decided that the semi-soft porn they have showed in the past might not be all that well received this year.
Tonight, Nick and Jessica will host their own variety show on ABC. Despite having some readers asking me to review it, I'm not going to do so. I think I can safely say I'd rather peel off my eyelids with a pair of fingernail clippers than watch that show.
The geniuses that brought you Survivor have come up with a brand new show: Recovery will focus on kidnappings.
Individuals and organizations that work on behalf of missing children, including the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, say the show's premise runs contrary to the commonly held principle of relying on legal authorities to handle recovery cases. They also were scathing in their criticism of using such cases for any entertainment purpose.
"The idea for Mark Burnett's new reality show of snatching children sickens me," said Lindsey Brooks, investigating manager for Child Quest International in Campbell, Calif. "These children he plans to recover have already been extremely emotionally damaged by being abducted. Now Burnett wants to exploit them by being on a TV show."
Penn & Teller have their own show on Showtime. It's a sardonic look at various trends in the US (environmentalism, health food, psychics, etc.) with a very skeptic approach, pointing out, well, the bullshit of it.
They can be rather pedantic, heavy handed and overbearing, but they can also be pretty amusing. I'm glad that they're back on the air; it's a good time.
I caught this one over at Snopes. Apparently, it's another sorta ad like the Nokia spot, but involving a British Ford car for this go around.
In any case, it's morbidly hilarious. Maybe it's just that it's three in the morning, I'm sitting at work and starting to get really loopy, but this is just really funny to me. I can only assume no cats were actually harmed in this filming. It's in the same vein as the Nokia ad.
So, can anyone tell me what beef advertising people have with felines?
And, it seems that some have it in for other animals as well. For the record, this is the one that Ford offically released into the public.
While it is true that Wonderfalls is being yanked off the air, it also appears that obligatory web effort by some group of demented/dedicated fans are trying to save the show with the ever-so-feared online petition. I'm sure this will have the executives at Fox quaking in terror.
I had heard about this the other day on NPR as I was driving to and fro. It seems that there are some groups that believe the Neilsen system will underreport their activities.
Neilsen has proposed changing from a diary method to an automated electronic monitoring system that will track what people actually watch (as opposed to what they say they watch).
The people meter is designed to record what channels are being watched at any time. It allows individual family members to identify who was watching a particular show by punching a button on a remote control. Nielsen already uses the system to tally national network viewing habits. It wanted to extend the system to determine how shows fare in local markets, replacing a practice that relies on viewers who write their selections in paper diaries.
Nielsen said the diary system takes more effort and depends on viewers remembering what they watched. In an ongoing side-by-side test between the new device and diaries conducted by Nielsen, several shows featuring black casts, such as "Girlfriends," "Eve," "Half & Half" and "The Parkers," showed ratings drops when viewership was recorded by the people meters. The drop-off in February ranged from 27 percent to 62 percent.
One of the things that was mentioned in the NPR article is that some of the groups opposed to this change have actively sought to persuade minorities to not participate in the process, thereby ensuring that the minority groups will be underrepresented.
The Simpsons are going to be made into a theatrical release movie. While this might be a good thing, I'm cringing a bit. I don't know if the writers can keep up the level satire and humor for ninety minutes instead of their normal twenty-one. I'm just concerned that there's going to be some ridiculous plot device to try and drag out the story for an hour or so (The Simpons go to Europe and have wacky adventures with Frankenstein's monster! and Dracula! etc...).
Adding to the music related reality show deluge, Sugar Ray will be participating in one of these things on the Spike network.
It will follow eight contestants who embark on a crash course in the music biz--from learning to be a roadie to dealing with all the trials and tribulations that come with organizing a national tour.
At the end of each episode, Sugar Ray will eliminate one person with the losers forced to "walk the Walk of Shame," a reference to what happens to a band or crew member when they eventually have to exit the tour bus after inviting a groupie on for the night.
The last man standing receives an employment opportunity at a record company for one year and a compact Kia sedan that will be featured at select dates on the trek.
So let me get this straight. I get to humilate myself on camera in front of an audience of hundreds (come on, this is the Spike network, not NBC) for a vague promise of an opportunity to be employed by a record comapny -- an opportunity, not an actual job, nor a promise of a good job as opposed to being a gopher -- and a crappy car that may or may not come with the rubberband to wind it? Wow, where do I sign up?
Great, just what we needed. Another show on MTV. That would leave, what, forty minutes of actual music a day that they will be playing now?
This particular small screen sojourn is to be
...the antidote to shows like Pop Idol.
Breaking Point will ignore manufactured pop stars and instead focus on real artists trying to get a break.
Wonderfalls, a quirky show on Fox that had some potential to be something good, has been cancelled.
Thanks to Jim for the tip.
The voice actors for the Simpsons are on strike.
Tonight, I watched American Idol for what I think had to be the first time ever. And what a time to decide to watch. The Funk Brothers -- the Funk Brothers!! -- performed as the backup band.
I want to extend my sincere and complete sympathies for each and every member of the FB's for having to sit through the complete and utter train wreck that was most of these people singing (if you can call it that -- I would call it raping some classic Motown tunes. Raping them, calling them bad names and then throwing rancid pickles at their dogs).
These wanna-be's (and I was not impressed with any of the singing that I heard from the Idol tribe) really did not deserve to share the same stage -- or really even breathe the same air -- as these actual legends of music. However, true to the legacy of the Funk Brothers, the singers got all the attention and the actual musical talent was largely ignored (and, unfortunately, used as a backdrop).
Some of them were so bad (yes, John Stevens, I'm talking about you) that I was hoping there was a sniper team hiding in the shadows somewhere. Alas, no such luck. And, other John? You're not on this list because good snipers only use one bullet.
If you watched this show, do yourself a favor, and check out the actual Funk Brothers in their own glory. They really deserve all the attention they could possibly get.
The television industry was shaken last October when the ratings from Nielsen Media Research showed that a huge part of a highly prized slice of the American population was watching less television. As the fall TV season began, viewership among men from 18 to 34 fell 12 percent compared with the year before, Nielsen reported. And for the youngest group of adult men, those 18 to 24, the decline was a steeper 20 percent.
In a world where fortunes are made and lost over the evanescent jitterings of fractions of audience share, the Nielsen announcement was the equivalent of a nuclear strike, a smallpox outbreak and a bad hair day all rolled into one.
But those who track the uses of technology say that the underlying shift in viewership made perfect sense. The so-called missing men might be more aptly called the missing guys, and they are doing what guys do: playing games, obsessing over sports and girls, and hanging out with buddies - often online.
And the evidence is accumulating that the behavior of guys like Mr. Brandel is changing faster than once thought. The rapid expansion of high-speed Internet access lets the computer become the video jukebox that Mr. Brandel uses to watch comedy clips. The seemingly inexhaustible appetite for computer games, DVD players, music and video file-sharing - and, yes, online pornography - all contribute to the trend, these experts say. While no one activity is enough to account for the drop that Nielsen reported, all of them together create a vast cloud of diversion that has drawn men inexorably away from television.
I can vouch for this one; the accessabililty of the web has absolutely lowered my desire to veg in front of the tube. TV is strictly a one way medium; I can only sit and absorb. The web is so very different in that regard. Not only can I absorb whatever tidbit of information that catches my interest, I can also delve further into it as I see fit.
Catch a movie on HBO? I'm more likely than not to look it up on the web to learn some details about the making of the movie. Which will probably lead me to some article about some new kind of polymer that was used in the special effects. Which may lead to information about the mining process that is used to get the material to make the polymer. Which may take me to a financial site to invest in the company. Which might direct me to a satire about the government and taxation. Which might..... (you get the point).
That's the neat thing about the web. Of course, when I look up at it's three in the morning because I got a little lost in the links, that's a downside.
Congress is considering changing the law to allow people to choose their TV channels ála carte. Imagine that; I could stop paying for the one hundred or so satellite channels that I have never once even turned on.
I have to say that I am not all that sympathetic to hearing the providers complain about how much it would cost. I know that DirecTV already broadcasts their entire offering to every dish (the receiver then filters out what the consumer has not paid for), so this technology is very do-able.
This is actually something that I have wondered for some time. I have constantly heard that the most prized demographic for advertising purposes is the 18 to 34 year old group. Here's a look at why they are so prized.
For those who can't quite get enough of their current show, Nick Lachley and Jessica Simpson are going to host a variety show on ABC.
Musicians tapped to appear on the show are Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, Kenny Rogers and Jewel. Former 98 Degrees member Lachey and Babyface will team up to sing Stevie Wonder's For Once In My Life, while Simpson and Jewel are expected to duet on the latter's Who Will Save Your Soul.
Others said to be taking part are Muppets Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy, baseball great Johnny Bench and actor Mr. T.
So if you're invited to be on this, it's pretty much the definitive sign that your career is completely kaput, right?
In good news for anyone who likes topical humour, Jon Stewart will be staying at the Daily Show for at least another four years.
Stewart is a great fit with this kind of comedy; sly, dry and just a little mischevious.
TV is starting to modify ads based on demographic data. This could be a very interesting technology, bringing the ability to narrowcast very precise targeting to a specific niche via a broadcast medium.
A few ways that the web has influenced pop culture.
Some of the nastier aspects of the capitalist system are on display in this article from the UK Guardian (registration required).
The great thing about children is that their memory banks are relatively empty so any message that goes in gets retained. ... Children are much easier to reach with advertising. They pick up on it fast and quite often we can exploit that relationship and get them pestering their parents.
While this might be true, it can only hurt the case of advertisers for them to be this blunt about it.
In the future, the Motion Picture Association of America will control your television set. Every TV sold in the United States will come equipped with an electronic circuit that will search incoming TV programs for a tiny electronic “flag.” The MPAA’s members will control this flag, putting it into broadcast movies and television shows as they see fit. If the flag is present, your TV will go into a special high-security mode and lock down its high-quality digital outputs. If you want to record a flagged program, you’ll have to do so on analog tape or on a special low-resolution DVD. Any recording will be limited to analog-quality sound. This security measure is not designed to protect the television from viruses or computer hackers—it’s designed to protect TV programs from you.
Simon Garfinkel pens an interesting article on a technological fix to the MPAA's fears for piracy and how it will probably turn out to be a bad thing (free registration required to read it). Garfinkel has been a pretty astute observer of technology trends for some time -- I would recommend his book on privacy and computer databases if you are concerned about privacy in the modern age -- so he's worth paying some attention to.
I'm a big fan of TiVO; the industry hasn't quite decided what they think of it as of yet, though.
Already making strong headway in Japan, some companies are now starting to bring TV broadcasts to cell phones. This technology is still in it's infancy, but there might actually be a market for it.
Why would anyone want this? Well,
We may never want to watch Hollywood epics on a tiny handheld screen, but I'd be glad to pass a half-hour in a doctor's waiting room watching a rerun of "The Simpsons.''
I could live with that.
Chuck D (of Public Enemy) will be at the forefront of a new cable network.
Commenting on Janet's exhibitionism, an unnamed ad man makes an honest statement:
Boobs conquer everything from the networks to the media to corporate America.
Truly a revelation for the ages.
I came late to the Grammys (given a choice, I'll take the Simpsons over much anything else that's on TV), so I'm picking up about a half hour into the show. Apparently I missed Prince, Dave Matthews and several others.
As an overall observation, the backdrops for the performances were well done. If only the same could be said for the technical issues. For a show all about music, you would think they'd have the sound rock solid. Such was not the case, though.
The White Stripes -- I've never been all that big a fan of their work; going for them is a raw intensity, going against them is a raw intensity. They did a medley of some of their tunes, with pretty good results.
Martina McBride -- I think I've caught snippets of this song on the radio from time to time. The arrangement of the performance tonight seemed to be more stripped down in general, but also with a full string section swelling during the middle section of the tune.
Alicia Keys -- Alicia was introduced by Patti LaBelle, and she played well, with the exception of a little diva-esque oversinging. To be honest, I didn't recognize the tune (it was a Luther Vandross song), but it came off well
Celine Dion -- You know, if it wasn't for me wanting to be complete, I would have turned the TV off. I'd rather listen to lawn mowers than Celine. So, imagine my sheer delight when the CBS audio feed completely dropped out during the opening of the tune (replaced by several audio techs struggling to get the backup online). Unfortunately, they fixed the problem. Richard Marx accompanied Celine (so glad to see that he is getting work). Luther's song was very touching; even Celine couldn't kill it (I wonder how much of a threat they had to issue to keep her from doing her trademark over the top singing shtick). For what it's worth, here's to hoping that next time it's Luther who belts it out.
Sting and Sean Paul -- These two did the Police standard Roxanne. If I didn't know any better, I think that Sting was using the original Fender jazz bass that he used for that album. Sean Paul came out and added a heavy dancehall aspect to the song. Since the Police pretty much always had a heavy reggae feel to their music, this fusion worked.
Justin Timberlake -- To me, it seems like a bad thing when the singer has to ask people to get into the music. Also, given that Timberlake's primary asset seems to be his dancing, why would he choose to spend his one shot at this audience sitting behind an electric piano? Anturo Sandoval sat in for a bit of the song, doing a trading licks thing with Timberlake. It's just me, but I would have so much rather listened to Sandoval for an entire song than Justin's, um, crooning.
Black Eyed Peas -- I caught these guys performing on SNL a while back. This was a better show. Perhaps having more real estate in which to move around let them be more active on stage.
Beyonce -- The stage show was, um, unusual. Again, her forte in the past has been dancing and very high energy dance music. So she decides to go with a slow, showy, way over the top song? Even if it's the title track of the album, I think there would have been better choices.
Earth, Wind & Fire, Outkast, Robert Randolph, George Clinton and Funkadelic -- I've always loved EW&F. This performance was Shining Star, and they did a bang up job; great energy. Phillip Bailey probably was ragging out his voice just a bit on the higher end. Outkast did their hit tune I Like The Way, and EW&F jumped in harmony. Robert Randolph turned a country instrument (a pedal steel guitar) into a funky explosion of gospel tinged passion. As much as I love Clinton and Funkadelic, they sounded ragged out and tired on Tear The Roof Off. It was good to see Bootsy having fun, though. And, if they ever do this again, please someone muzzle Samuel Jackson.
Foo Fighters with Chick Corea -- This was a match that I would have neither thought of nor made. Corea's laconic style and the Foo Fighters' aggression would have seemed to naturally clash. But what do I know. The result started as a very laid back version of the Foo Fighters' song Times Like These. After the first verse and chorus, the song reverted to the more normal Foo Fighters version. Unfortunately, that left Chick Corea trying to fit in his playing to their tune. And it was not a good marriage.
Sarah McLachlan -- McLachlan performed well. I have a soft spot for her and have liked her work for the better part of a decade, so I'm a little biased. Allison Krauss sat in on violin. I'm not real sure as to why; the intrepid Grammy sound engineers struck again and Krauss could not be heard when she played. And could just barely be heard when she sang.
Outkast -- Outkast came back to perform their other tune, Hey Ya!. This rendition seemed particularly soulless and empty, though. Even adding the marching band towards the end of the performance only highlighted how little there was actually going on. I have no idea what was going on with the whole Native American theme, though.
Justin Timberlake was awarded the Grammy for the best male pop vocal. He had enough awareness of the absurdity of the previous weekend to at least acknowledge it and issue yet another apology.
Luther Vandross sent in a taped message, which included a little bit of him singing. He still sounds amazing, and I hope that his recovery is speedy.
When Sean Paul came out to sing with Sting, I hope that you were watching the show with the subtitles on. As soon as Sean Paul started with his dancehall patois, the subtitles froze up. I can imagine the subtitle guy in a booth just cursing heavily, trying to figure out what he would possibly type in for the hearing impaired.
Christina won best female pop vocal and also referenced the Janet incident. Which is ironic, considering how she and Britney pretty much paved the way for it to even happen.
....To be honest, I pretty much stopped paying attention to the show sometime after that. The Grammys are always such a bore. I'm a musician, and I don't even care. I can't imagine how bad this must be for people who really aren't into music all that much.
And, of course, as I write this, one of the guys in Coldplay announces his wish for John Kerry to be president. While John might appreciate the plug, it's too bad the band is British and can't vote for him....
As a closing, the president of the recording industry (I'm not sure if he is the guy from the RIAA or not) came out and plugged for money to support music education, took a swipe at the Bush administration and tried to get the people watching the broadcast to not download music online. He did this with a new commerical emphasizing a new website. Bad commercials do not seem like a really good plan of attack in this particular conflict...
Adding to the disturbing trend about TiVo monitoring subscriber's viewing habits (ála Big Brother) comes this bit of news:
TiVo and Nielsen Media Research, the television ratings company, announced a deal Wednesday in which TiVo will provide a breakdown of how some of its customers are using their digital video recorders.
That means Nielsen will find out whether participating viewers are watching ``American Idol'' live or watching it a day later and, more importantly, which commercials they're skipping and which were watched a second time.
I have to say that I am a huge fan of TiVo; it has completely changed the way that I watch TV. But this whole monitoring of data is rather disturbing, to say the least.
James Saldana has created a parody ad of the Pepsi/iTunes ad from the Superbowl...
An article worth a read about some of the consequences of the FCC getting all investigatory with Janet's, um, malfunction.
These points won't satisfy the Repressive Right, but even the FRC and other right-tilting authoritarians ought to remember that its Republican/conservative friends won't always be running Washington. Someday, maybe sooner than we know, it will the Politically Correct Left that is reviewing all shows. And when the political/ideological wheel turns, the same state machinery that the FRC wants to use to wallop its foes will be used instead to wallop the FRC and its friends. As Ronald Reagan said many times, "A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take it all away."
To be honest, I'm getting rather tired of reading and listening to all the riga-ma-role about this whole thing. I'm adding this link because I think it's important to remember both that free speech is one of those things that requires active protection and that free speech is oft time not good speech.
An interesting article on Pepsi's download ad from the Super Bowl is in today's Washington Post. Lots of links to other articles, with a somewhat jaundiced cast to the eye.
...where Pepsi crossed the line was in featuring a teenager who was slapped with a lawsuit by the Recording Industry Association of America for illegally downloading copyrighted songs. In effect, Pepsi is saying music piracy will not only get you free music, but potentially money-making endorsement contracts.
Let's face it; the commercials are almost always the best part of the Super Bowl. In fact, it's probably the only time where people Tivo-ing a show and then blow through the content to get to the commercials (instead of the other way around). This year's was a bit different; it was actually a game.
Here's my take on the ads (note that these titles aren't official, it's just what I'm choosing to call them). I'm choosing to ignore the CBS ads; there wasn't much there there to review.
The ads that didn't suck:
McDonald's "Burger Wrapper Dryer Sheet" -- Cute, amusing, off beat.
Bud Light "Two Dogs" -- Unexpected, if sophomoric humor.
Bud Light "Bikini Wax" -- Amusing. Cedric the Entertainer was good casting.
Tostitos "The Wedding" -- Amusing with the best man breaking into tears.
Ford GT "The Racetrack" -- Very austere; nothing put the car driving really fast on a European style race track with a voiceover. Probably perfect for the target demographic (which doesn't include me).
Pepsi "Leftover Bear" -- Cute, a slyly subversive take on some of the identity issues going around these days.
HR Block "Willie Doll" -- Particularly ironic, given Willie Nelson's tax history.
Sierra Mist "Scottish Relief" -- Actually, I didn't like this at all until the kid at the end quipped "That's just wrong, dad".
Bud Light "Donkey Clydesdale" -- Cute enough. Not the best ad, but cute enough.
Mitsubishi "Accident Avoidance" -- Quickly got your attention, ended on a cliffhanger with a redirect to a website (which I'm sure was immediately farked out of existence). Well done.
Visa "Snow Volleyball" -- Loved it when the ball went into the water and they did Evens/Odds to see who had to go into the ice floes to get it back.
Chevy "Soap Bars" -- Great setup with a perfectly executed payoff.
Lays "Bag Race" -- The competitive spirit lives!
Wachovia "Free Air" -- Nice nostalgia pull for when air at all gas stations was still free.
Expedia "Magique" -- I liked the pseudo-Cirque Du Soleil reference.
Staples "Supply Godfather" -- This one worked for me, but I'm a fan of the Sopranos.
Gillette "The Best" -- Black and White was a nice touch, particularly with all the iconic sports references clicking through.
Cadillac "Desert Water" -- Good special effects, definitely a high end commercial.
Budweiser "Lipstick" -- Very cute, converges with the Ford GT ads.
Busch "Designated Driver" -- Nice, responsible ad. Not one of the better ones, but not horrible either.
Mastercard "The Simpsons" -- Well, I've thought the Simpsons were one of the best show on TV for years. This perfectly captured Groening's sense of humor in the context of the Priceless ad series.
AOL "Top Speed Car" -- Nice reference to Back To The Future.
Nextel "Earnhardt" -- While I detest that Nextel chirpy thingie, this was amusing.
Busch "We ID" -- Another nice, responsible ad.
Truth "Glass Pops" -- While this was another ad from a tobacco company proselytizing people not to smoke, it was a funny one.
7-Up "Slam Dunk" -- Laugh out loud funny.
Subway "Be Bad" -- It was the "sorries" at the end (Wang Chung, the coffee in the laps of the bad tippers, etc,) that worked for me.
Cadillac "Break Through" -- Continuing with the Desert Water theme, picking up where the last commercial left off.
Anti Drug "Help Them" -- The music was very reminiscent of Mark Snow's work on the X-Files, so that worked for me.
The spots that blew chunks:
Taco Bell "Chalupa Clubbin' " -- Okay, I'm biased because I detest Taco Hell. But why would I want to buy some food that would have me acting like those three losers who though the local Taco Bell was a rockin' night club?
Bud Light "Ambient Images" -- A rotating bottle and various text words over ambient music. It didn't even move me enough to say that I didn't like it.
Pizza Hut "The Muppets" -- And Jessica Simpson is one of them, just with more movement. I'm glad she's on minute thirteen. I also wonder how many takes she had to do.
FedEx "Alien Jenkins" -- Was probably funny at some point in time, but the alien idea didn't really go anywhere.
Dodge "Monkey On My Back" -- Other than calling to mind an old Aldo Nova tune, this didn't do much for me.
Schick "Quattro" -- Sheesh, why not five blades? Or thirty-six?
AOL "Top Speed Jumping" -- Only works if you are familiar with American Chopper, and then only vaguely amusing.
Chevy Aveo "Little Outside" -- The elephant thing was amusing, but the basketball players becoming midgets fell flat.
Levitra "Football vs. Baseball" -- Okay, so you're attempting to alienate all the diehard baseball fans? Good thinking.
Levitra "The Challenge" -- Throwing footballs through the hole in the middle of the tire? My, that's not even slightly subtle....
Pepsi "Downloads" -- I'm thinking that the RIAA hated this commercial; it
Bud Light "Rocket Sled" -- Probably was considered to be funny somewhere along the line. It didn't come out that way.
Pepsi "Sandwiches" -- I think I'll switch to Coke.
AOL "Amped Wheelchair" -- If the first AOL ad was bad, this was much worse.
NFL Network "Tomorrow" -- Please tell me that no one will be singing on this channel. If so, I'll never watch even once. Not even on a bet.
Microsoft "School Girl" -- This entire ad series has been pretty insipid.
Sierra Mist "Good Dog" -- This ad was trying to recapture some of the magic from the previous good dog ads, but it just never clicked.
Bud Light "Monkey Frank" -- A lecherous monkey. Hilarious. To other lechers.
Honda Pilot "Raised By Wolves" -- Buy this car if you're feral? Another great marketing ploy.
Cadillac "Silence" -- Do many drivers of Caddies actually desire to go over the speed of sound? I don't think so.
The commercials that had me scratching my head as to what the heck they were saying:
California Cheese "The hot cow" -- Definitely didn't make me want cheese. Aficionados of cattle probably ate it up, though.
Ford GT "Silhouette" -- Didn't really show enough of a car to allow you to know anything, but a decent set-up for the next few.
Cialis "Two Tubs" -- I have no idea what this might be selling, other than two older people sitting in a pair of claw foot tubs outside watching the sun set.
Monster "Soulmates" -- Apparently Monster.com has the ability to let you search for the exact person who will be interviewing you and doing personality matches?
Charmin "Illegal Hands" -- A good fit with the Super Bowl, but still a strange, vaguely homoerotic ad.
IBM "Muhammad Ali" -- A left field ad that didn't really sell any benefits of Linux.
Monster "In Love" -- A bunch of people getting ready for work. And this makes me want to use your site why?
SBC "Looking Back" -- What exactly are you saying here? You've been around a long time. So what?
Unremarkable ads:
Florida Orange Juice -- Very standard ad.
NFL Fallen Heroes fund -- Nothing remarkable, but it seems like a good cause.
Van Helsing -- This looks to be a very big budget summer movie flop to be. I could be wrong, but it looks way too much like The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
Troy -- Looks like a decent flick, harkening back to the "cast of thousands" days of movie making.
50 First Dates -- Looks like a standard Adam Sandler Film.
Bud Light "The Ref" -- I can't decide if this was amusing or annoying. Or just misogynistic.
Miracle -- Standard film commercial.
The Alamo -- nice reference to Jaws in it ("We're gonna need a lot more men").
Philip Morris "One Of Five" -- Getting past the irony of a cigarette company advertising for people not to use their product, it was strictly average.
Starsky And Hutch -- Pretty standard movie trailer.
Secret Window -- Pretty standard vaguely Stephen King-like movie plug.
Chevy "Ten Vehicles" -- Standard car ad.
Nissan Altima "Attractive Car" -- I've seen this one many times before, so not much there.
Sony "Exchange Student" -- Also not new.
Acura TL "Wired Car" -- Neat toy, but nothing new as far as the ad goes.
Hidalgo -- Standard move trailer
The Anti-Drug "Life Rewind" -- a standard anti-drug ad.
AIG "Chalkboard" -- While fitting with the Super Bowl, it wasn't all that compelling.
Ciba Vision "Contact Lenses" -- ho-hum.
Now, I actually have a lot of sympathy for the people who come up with these ads. You only have thirty seconds to get across your idea, so you don't have a lot of room to move. Commercials may actually be harder to make than some TV shows.
-- Update --
The NY Times weighs in with their take on the ads, as does Slate and AdAge. IFilms has also posted all of the ads online.
I didn't find any of the musical performances particularly motivating or all that interesting. The main issue with musical performances at an event like the Super Bowl is that the producers try to cram so many diverse musical acts in a rather short period of time that no performer can make any kind of impact. They only perform shortened versions of songs before the focus shifts, and then usually to a different style of music. As a result, the pacing is uneven and the overall feel doesn't flow.
Aerosmith -- If there was more of a pre-game show, I didn't see any of it. These guys sounded okay as they went through a medley of their songs (as well as a one or two blues songs), but man, they are starting to look their age. Joe Perry should have kept his hair long; it's a better look for him.
Josh Groban -- He performed a truncated version of one of his songs to honor the members of NASA space shuttle Columbia. It's the first time I've ever heard him sing. I think that he was lip-synching, but he sounded okay.
Beyonce -- She sang the national anthem. Singing-wise, she hit all the notes, but her performance would have been much more apropos at some Destiny's Child concert than at the Super Bowl. She did some small gyrations, hand waving and the usual vocal flip-flops of the Britney set. I suppose you can dress her up, but she's still a teeny bopper singer.
Jessica Simpson -- What did she do to earn a credit other than scream "Houston, choose to party!" Minute thirteen and counting...
Janet Jackson -- Very produced and heavily choreographed. Again I suspect lip-synching since her voice never flagged, no matter what dance move she was doing or how her mouth was facing in relation to her headset mike. After Kid Rock, the focus returned to Janet as she reprised Rhythm Nation, both the music and dance steps from the video, for some reason. After the song, she went to a breakdown with a drumline -- easily the best part of her act.
P. Diddy -- Didn't do all that much in the first three seconds he rapped. Came back just for a bit after Nelly's Hot In Here.
Nelly -- He did the "Hot In Herre". Clearly lip synching -- he dropped the mike away from his mouth at the end of his first verse and the words still came flowin' on.
Kid Rock -- Thankfully, he was clearly not lip synching; the vocal line matched his exertions. He did the first verse from Bawitdaba as well as the initial verse and chorus from Cowboy
Justin Timberlake -- Came out after Janet's Rhythm Nation, did his Rock Your Body tune. Also did a lot of close freaky dancing with Ms. Jackson -- possibly a little dig directed towards Britney?
-- Update --
Apparently, Janet and Justin also had a little pseudo-nudity during their act that I just completely missed. Probably because I was more listening than watching. It's kind of sad when you have to do pull those kind of stunts to get sales.
-- Update 2 --
Drudge is now reporting that the whole Jackson thing was pre-planned and CBS knew about it in advance. If this is true, then I'm just shocked -- shocked I say!! -- that this happened. Of course, it is Drudge, so take it with a grain of salt.
-- Update 3 --
The FCC is investigating the Jackson incident for indecency. More to come...
-- Update 4 --
A reader has pointed out to me that I made an error. Joe Perry plays guitar for Aerosmith. Steve Perry sang for Journey. My apologies.
-- Update 5 --
BlogCritics has lots and lots of coverage about Janet and her, um, Super Bowl publicity stunt here. Note that some articles have been cross-posted both here and there.
Chick Corea has been added to the list of performers at the Grammy Awards. Also on the list are 50 Cent (yawn), Celine Dion (the horror, the horror), the Foo Fighters (could be decent), Alicia Keys (also could be interesting) and Richard Marx (did someone lose a bet?).
Last night, VH1's Band Reuinted show put Kajagoogoo back together to play their two hit songs. For one thing, I had no idea these guys had any other hits beside "Too Shy". For another thing, I still like the bass line from "Too Shy". It was interesting and really pedalled the song forwards.
I think that once the series is complete, I'll probably do a post on all the things I learned from watching 80's bands get back together....
Is it just me or are all the actors from HBO's series Oz getting work all over the place? I just watched Monster today, and Lee Tergesen (Beecher) has a featured role. All of the Law and Order series has at least one person on the show who was in Oz (J.K. Simmons/Schillinger/Dr. Skoda on Law and Order, B.D. Wong/Father Ray/Dr. Huang and Christopher Meloni/Keller/Det. Stabler on SVU. CI has no mainstay from Oz, but I think just about every episode has had at least one Oz refugee as a guest star).
Not that I mind too terribly much; Oz was a great show. Granted, it was a semi-soap opera for men with massive homoeroticism throughout the series, but it was well written and well acted. And it pretty much convinced me that I will hang myself before going to a maximum security prison.
To me, The Simpsons happens to be one of the best shows on television today, quite possible one of the best ever. The satire is biting, the writing both sophmoric and witty (in turn and sometimes both at once). Already the longest running animated show in history (as well as the show with the largest number of guest stars), there is now a website that has every possible bit of information about the show that anyone could ever want to learn. I read a few of the episode guides, and methinks there might be a few people with way too much time on their hands...
I was driving home from studying with Anthony tonight and I heard a commercial on WHFS for a special on CBS Michael Jackson tomorrow night. WTF? Who is the severely challenged idiot who gave a green light to this ratings crater? Even if Mikey hadn't had his little, um, rampant pedophilia problem, this would have been a big ol' empty spot in the TV schedule. Michael Jackson was great -- even brilliant -- once, but he's just about been worthless for a decade or so (aside from a burgeoning freak show attraction). Who cares what he has to say or what he does about, well, anything anymore? Other than him saying "I did it" in front of a judge, MJ would do the world a favor if he just limped away to a real Neverland and bothered us all no more.
-- Update --
Seems that CBS has already pulled the plug on this monstrosity. That still doesn't explain how this ever got on the air nor why they are still running commercials for a special that isn't going to be shown.