Archived Editions of Chromatic Musings

Solo acoustic for Africa

I found this today as a random google search -- some guy playing Toto's Africa on acoustic guitar solo. Like or hate the tune, it's an impressive arrangement.

A jumping problem

From BoingBoing, here's Eddie Van Halen trying to play along with a keyboard that's so out of pitch, he just can't find the right notes...

Comments on criticism

Eppy has some good things to remember when considering music criticism. Some excerpts:

• We do understand how much work goes into making an album. We also understand that our job is to then judge the results of all that work, which means you do not get a gold star for effort. You get gold stars for having a good album.
• Just because we have not seen your live show does not mean we don't have the right to criticize you. We are judging your album, not your band. There are lots of people who listen to albums by bands who they will never see live.
• If you think music critics are in any way superior to you, please ask one how many groupies they get. Then stop being such a jackass.

Pure comedy gold

Over at Recording.org, there's a thread about a supremely clueless guy asking for advice on how to record.

I've been reading it for the last two or three hours, and I think I've hurt myself I've been laughing so hard. That, and I'm pretty sure my co-workers are going to have me committed.

Thanks to Tom for the tip.

New gig on the books

We are going to be returning to Café Europa on October 1st. Hopefully, Lemmings will be done enough by then to be able to play it that night.

Wanna open for Hanson?

Remember Um, bop? Well, you (yes, you) can have the chance to open for them. Really, you can, if you want. It looks like they're trying to raise their profile by having a local band in each of their venues.

eSession

eSession is a website setting up the possibility of regular folk working with exalted music stars. Actually, I'm a little tired, but this might be a good idea. Right now, it's only in the vaporware stage, so it's too early to tell. But, they have a decent talent base (as of now):

• Tony Levin -- Bass
• Dave Weckl -- Drums
• ...

Well, that's all the names that I recognized from the list (beyond ones-ee, twos-ees). Still, a start.

A new album is named

The three of us got together tonight, but we didn't play all that much. Rather, we went through some of the business things. Honestly, we should have had this discussion prior to hitting the studio, but we didn't and now we have to pick up the pieces and move on.

First, we talked about who was going to get credit for doing what on which song. Then we talked about how the money was actually going to be split (three ways, rather than by credit). We also talked about potential names for the album and some cover art stuff.

The new album will be called "World Tour" (at least, until either we change our minds or until we go to print); CD release party will be in late October/early November.

How to behave at a show

Some show ettiquette from Here's A Hint.

Now, there is the question of common courtesy during the non-performance parts of the evening. With 4 beats of your last note, you better be winding up cords, unscrewing cymbals and turning off pedals. Otherwise, you are sending a clear message to your fellows and the audience: "I hate you". And your shit had best be taken to the back or out of the club once it's offstage. There's nothing more distracting than watching a bunch of cheeseheads moving their amps in front of my while I'm trying to watch a band, and, in my opinion, they are free reign for the lead singer to snipe at.

Furthermore, when I said I'd give a band a chance, set up time counts against your chance. You have 20 minutes, so don't spend it twiddling with your guitar pedals or getting a drink while the bassist struggles with his 8x10 Ron Jeremy Edition Cabinet. Here's a Hint: You're not a rockstar, so get on stage and play. You have 2 minutes to soundcheck, after that start your fucking set. Either the sound guy knows what he's doing, or he doesn't. FUCKING PLAY. And don't waste my time between songs. Buy a tuner and be ready to go. I've never heard anyone complain that a local band didn't spend enough time mumbling weak jokes into the mic between songs.

This makes me think of a show that I played where the band before us did a sound check. For fifty-five minutes. After the first fifteen or so, I stopped caring about their show. Right around thirty, I just wanted them to play anything other than "okay, left tom...". At forty-five, I gave up and played pool for the rest of the night, pretty much ignoring anything they did from that point on.

10 more completely ridiculous metal pics

Following on from the last list, here are another 10 completely bizarre death metal pictures.

Thoughts on set lists

David Valdez has put together some good thoughts on writing set lists.

• Vary the styles and tempos of the tunes- Mix it up!
• Don't play tunes in the same key back to back.
• Start out the set with something that is comfortable for the musicians, so things lock in.
• Be ready to change up your set on the fly depending how the crowd reacts. You may need to wake them up if they're getting too chatty.
• If you're playing a gig for wealthy older caucasions, play every tune at 160bpm (businessman's bounce tempo) and segue between every tune with a 3-6-2-5 vamp into the next key. Just kidding. This is exactly what many NYC high society bands do.
• Write sets that feature different instruments in the band and vary the solo order. Start with a bass solo or a bass melody once in a while. [preach it, brother!]
• Take the time to work on your set lists before you get to the gig and try to think them through in your head. Try to think about how you will feel after each tune. Keep old set lists that worked well for future reference.
• Ask your players if they have any tunes they want to play before the gig so you can work them into the set seamlessly.
• Consider changing the style or meter of an overplayed standard. You might try something like playing 'All the Things' as a waltz or the 'Nearness of You' as a double-time feel Samba.

I agree with David on almost all of these. I've written about set lists before, and it's always nice to find others with whom you share at least a few concepts.

All in good fun

The bassist for hire with a sardonic take on the rock scene said of Madonna:

"She was incredibly musical and could talk to musicians in terms they could understand as opposed to Tina Turner, who would say things like 'Could you make it more purple?"'

Having finished touring (and, presumably, not really wanting to work in the music industry anymore), bassist Guy Pratt has turned to stand up comedy.

The Art of Improvisation

An absolute great article on improvisation.

Communicating in Solos
Contrary to what some players think, the soloist is not the only one who is playing important ideas. The other members can greatly inspire the soloist, or in some cases can even join in as multiple soloists.

A successful solo is like a conversation among the group members. The soloist leads the discussion, and the group members are like the supporting actors who feed the leader ideas. When members of the group hear interesting ideas from the soloist (or from the other members), they can react in any of these ways:

• Let the idea go by. This by helps the idea stand out, but does not necessarily build communication. Even when you let it go by, someone else may be communicating with it, so you’ll get your turn soon. Remember: the soloist may be in the middle of his or her own development and may play something even more interesting in a few seconds.
• Play against the idea. For example, if the idea uses offbeats, play against it with downbeats, or vice versa; if the idea is ascending, play descending, etc.
• Copy the idea (explained [in the article]).
• Alter or develop the idea (explained [in the article]).

Important: The group can use any or all of the above methods at the same time. It’s not necessary for all members to copy or play against at the same time; variety makes an effective engine behind the soloist.

Brian Eno wrote that?

I had no idea that Brian Eno wrote the startup music for Microsoft Windows.

Q: How did you come to compose ``The Microsoft Sound''?

A: The idea came up at the time when I was completely bereft of ideas. I'd been working on my own music for a while and was quite lost, actually. And I really appreciated someone coming along and saying, ``Here's a specific problem -- solve it.''

The thing from the agency said, ``We want a piece of music that is inspiring, universal, blah- blah, da-da-da, optimistic, futuristic, sentimental, emotional,'' this whole list of adjectives, and then at the bottom it said ``and it must be 3 1/4 seconds long.''

I thought this was so funny and an amazing thought to actually try to make a little piece of music. It's like making a tiny little jewel.

In fact, I made 84 pieces. I got completely into this world of tiny, tiny little pieces of music. I was so sensitive to microseconds at the end of this that it really broke a logjam in my own work. Then when I'd finished that and I went back to working with pieces that were like three minutes long, it seemed like oceans of time.

Oddly enough, I was just thinking this. Not that I'm all that prescient, mind you.

That's how it works...

The physics of playing a didgeridoo. Having recently returned from Australia, this is interesting to me.

Thanks to Skarlet for the tip.

A NYC jazz musician speaks

A cousin of mine recently moved to the DC area. He wants to "make it" in the music business. When I asked him what he meant by that, he said, "I want to get a record contract, make records, tour the world, that sort of stuff." To which I answered, "Then you probably need to move either three hours North or thirteen hours West." [*] (NYC or Nashville, for those not familiar with the area)

I've thought about moving to NYC a few times myself. DC has a pretty decent jazz scene, but NYC is really where it's at. So, it's interesting to see what someone who's living that life has to say about it.

Andreas Steffen from Germany asked me to write about what the life of a New York Jazz musician was like. Most people have some glorified idea of what the NYC musician does to make a living. Adreas' idea went like this: sleep until noon, practice, studio job, gig, jam session, repeat from start. That's pretty much what I expected when I got there with five hundred dollars in my pocket. The economic realities of living in NYC have changed drastically in the last thirty years. Long time resident musicians have told me that back in the 70s you could pay your rent by working one or two gigs a month. Many musician had large lofts where they jammed till the wee hours of the morning. New York is one of the most expensive cities in the world and gigs still pay roughly what they did in the 70s. There are still tons of fifty-dollar gigs all over town. Of course now you could be playing fifty-dollar gigs every night of the week and still be starving.

* Yeah, I know that some people have "made it" from the DC area. Good Charlotte, Dennis Chambers just to name two off the top of my head. Still, most bands that make it aren't going to be found here. It's just the odds, as much as that might suck.

Good musicianship tips

A great list to bear in mind:

• Don't just be to the gig in time for the downbeat.
• If you absolutely have to sub a gig out that you've already committed to, get someone BETTER than you.
• No matter how bad the band sucks, don't play the gig with a sour look on your face.
  This is one that I have a bit of trouble with. I'm a decent poker player, but it's a bit hard for me to fake it on stage.
• When you aren't playing during a tune don't start shuffling papers or get distracted by the audience. Once the music starts everyone needs to give their complete attention to the music.
• Be ready to play by the time the rehearsal starts.
• If the music is hard, then practice it before coming to rehearsal. Don't plan on working it out there.
• Let me say it again- NEVER BE LATE TO A GIG! Always allow for unexpected delays. If it looks like you are going to be even five minutes late for a rehearsal make a phone call. He be amazed how much this will be appreciated, almost more than being on time.
• This is really bonehead level but you'd be surprised. Make sure you're dressed appropriately for the gig.
• If there's and open bar, don't start drinking before the bandleader.
• Don't be passive aggresive. If you have a problem with what is going down get it out in the open. There is nothing worse than a sulking musician. It destroys the entire energy on the bandstand and the audience picks up on it immediately.
• Don't disappear on breaks.
• Don't talk or play unnecessarily between tunes.

Jazz myths

Talent and/or being 'gifted' is the more important than hard work & tenacity.

.....

If you go to a karaoke bar, you'll see great talented singers wail out their impressions of their favorite singers. Most have no formal training, only some natural talent. These are not the singers who go on to get record deals. The singers who work hard at their art are the ones who go on to be great singers. There's no substitution for hard work, and in the long run that karaoke singer will be wishing they'd put a little more effort into learning how to sing.

Some high grade, ground up sacred cow (there are a few more through the other side of the linky...) from Cameron.

"Pretty good, for a ______"

Cassie has some interesting observations about back handed compliments:

The most recent comment came from a fellow at a nice outdoor performance this past Thursday, after the band I was playing with, the Swing Daddies, concluded the first set. This man seemed to genuinely enjoy the music, and I was glad he said so, except his choice words were a bit annoying: "You're the best girl sax player I ever heard."

Ok. I realize this is a compliment. Sort of. I'm glad he liked the band...and my contributions to the music. But why stick the "girl" thing in there? That's like saying, 'You're the best black basketball player I've ever seen' or 'You're the smartest Jewish guy I know.' And I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the best all-around sax player he--or anyone else--has ever heard, but what's wrong with a nice, neutral, 'I really enjoyed your playing'?

The one that most sticks out in my head was after a hip hop gig. This guy wanders over, shakes my hand and says something like, "You know, you're pretty good.... for a white guy."

To this day, I've never been able to figure out what the best response should have been. Probably not me cocking my head to one side and saying, "Umm... thanks?"

A moving eulogy

Written for Keter Betts, upright bassist for some true jazz greats.

Possible other gig

It's possible that I might be playing at the Velvet Lounge soon. I have an offer, and I need to check around to see if things are going to work out or not.

Follies and Jollies

Tomorrow, we go back into the studio to try and finish this album. I have yet to hear the rough mixes, and I'm more than a little apprehensive about it. During the last session, we had some issues with timeliness, and I'm concerned that it might be sufficiently noticeable to cause problems. I suspect that both Shahin and I will go over the rough mixes while Brett and Scott set up the kit.

Once that happens, we have four songs to get down -- Red Leaves, Soho, Brazilian Cafe and Snipe Hunting. Personally, I'm more than a little worried about it. These are the more rhythmically complex songs that we have on our plate (well, not Soho so much). I know that the bass line I've been playing on Red is probably too busy, so I might be backing off of the thumping to get a good take. We have consistently had problems hitting the ending stops on Brazilian when we play it live, so I have little reason to think that the studio will make those go any better. And (finally), Snipe is one of those songs that I've never liked what I play on it.

This promises to be interesting.

Words to live by

If you are a practicing musician, take this article, tape it right beside your mirror and live by just about every word in it.

No matter how eary or hard a part is to play, you must be able to play it perfectly.

It doesn't matter whether it's whole note chords or 32nd note arpeggios. Also keep in mind that any recording project has a fixed budget, which means that you have a set amount of time in which to put down your tracks. If you're struggling with playing your parts, in order to keep the project on budget, a producer will likely bring in a session player. Let me repeat that with more emphasis, in case it didn’t quite sink in the first time:

IF YOU CANNOT RECORD YOUR PARTS WITHIN A REASONABLE AMOUNT OF TIME, THE PRODUCER WILL LIKELY BRING IN A SESSION PLAYER!

In my amateur naiveté, I used to joke to my bandmates that I'd like to see them try to find someone who could lay down my rhythm parts in any reasonable amount of time! After talking to Jeff, I am convinced that they could and would replace me if I were to give them a reason to. That’s when it really hit me that:

As a professional musician, you must be able to play consistently well under pressues.

Playing music is a lot more fun than working in an office, but let there be no misunderstanding, with potentially large sums of money at stake, you are expected to do a job and do it well. Now I don’t mean to imply that you have to be some kind of virtuoso. Far from it. To be successful in the studio, a musician simply requires a strong sense for what a song needs and be able to capture those ideas on “tape” in a timely fashion. Live, consistency is one of the key components for giving each audience a good show for their hard earned money. ...

It continues, and you should as well. Go. Read it now.

The skinny on air guitar

From a definitive source.

Thanks to Brad for the tip.

What's your rock sign?

Apparently, mine's Gilbert O' Sullivan.

All I have to say is, who?

Thanks to Brad for the tip.

Ticketstubs

Ever held on to a ticketstub, just for the memories? If so, this site is for you.

Thanks to Andrew for the tip.

Anthony's thoughts

Anthony's put up his diary on the Funk Box show.

Amen, brother

Yelling "Freebird!" has been a rock cliché for years, guaranteed to elicit laughs from drunks and scorn from music fans who have long since tired of the joke. And it has spread beyond music, prompting the Chicago White Sox organist to add the song to her repertoire and inspiring a greeting card in which a drunk holding a lighter hollers "Freebird!" at wedding musicians.

Bands mostly just ignore the taunt. But one common retort is: "I've got your 'free bird' right here." That's accompanied by a middle finger. It's a strategy Dash Rip Rock's former bassist Ned Hickel used. According to fans' accounts of shows, so have Jewel and Hot Tuna's Jack Casady. Jewel declines to comment. Mr. Casady says that's "usually not my response to those kind of things."

Others have offered more than the bird. On a recent live album, Modest Mouse's Isaac Brock declares that "if this were the Make-a-Wish Foundation, and you were going to die in 20 minutes -- just long enough to play 'Freebird' -- we still wouldn't play it." Dash Rip Rock often plays "Stairway to Freebird," a mash-up of the Skynyrd epic and Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" that Mr. Davis boasts lasts "less than two minutes. ... You're finished before people get mad."

I think I've mentioned before how much I hate -- hate that @)(#%& song, right? Nice to know I'm not the only one.

Weird Band Names

The end-all, be-all list of strange band names. Some samples:

• Above Average Weight Band
• A Cat Born In An Oven Isn't a Cake
• Eeeeww! You're a Girl!
• Say You Hate Me
• Those Darn Accordians
• Wafflebutt

A deconstruction of lyrics

Okay, this is just funny. Music-Critic takes the lyrics of pop tunes and breaks them down in to what they really mean. Here's their take on Destiny Child's Bootylicious:

Thanks to Brad for the tip.

Drum tabs?

I knew that people have written tablature for guitar and for bass, but I had no idea that there was such a thing for drums...

Thanks to Brad for the tip.

The granny gear for music

You know how some songs dwaddle about for awhile, and then try to "kick up a notch"? Well, the easiest way to do that is to throw in a key change -- otherwise known as the truck driver's gear change.

From the website's FAQ:

1. Who or what is a truck driver's gear change?

Many writers and arrangers feel that when their song is in risk of getting a bit tired, it can be given a fresh lease of life by shifting the whole song up a key, usually in between choruses, towards the beginning of a "repeat-till-fade" section. You may have heard this technique informally referred to as "modulation", but the correct ethnomusicological term for the phenomenon is the truck driver's gear change. This reflects the utterly predictable and laboured nature of the transition, evoking a tired and over-worked trucker ramming the gearstick into the new position with his – or, to be fair, her – fist.

Contrary to what many people seem to think, the truck driver's gear change is in no way inventive, interesting or acceptable: it is in fact an utterly appalling and unimaginative admission that you've run out of inspiration and the song should have ended one minute ago; but you're under pressure to make something which can be stretched out to the length of a single. The concept of the truck driver's gear change seems to transcend all musical styles, from Perry Como to The Misfits, although my investigations reveal that it's most prevalent in mainstream pop, and, let's face it, it's unlikely to feature in hip-hop. But who's to say.

This may perhaps all sound a little abstract. So for recommended initiation into the concept of the truck driver's gear change, I suggest you check out Crazy Crazy Nights by Kiss, which is a perfect example of the, ahem, oeuvre. Many experts agree that the single greatest gear change of all time is Michael Jackson's Man In The Mirror, though you should be aware that it may make you physically sick. In a subtler vein, gear changes like Gabrielle's Sunshine are for the experienced listener only.

Thanks to Chuck for the tip.

A rhyming dictionary

Anyone who writes lyrics needs one; now you have no excuse.

Thanks to Brad for the tip.

Details on the webcam guy

He has a name. If you haven't seen the clip, it's painfully funny (an overweight guy singing along to a techno track from Europe).

Two looks back

First, the NY Times takes a look at the returning 80's acts and how well they are not selling:

A raft of once-popular acts, from the danceable R&B group New Edition to the pop idols Duran Duran and George Michael to the more self-serious Tears for Fears to the standard-bearers of teenage angst, the Cure, all shook off the dust and signed new recording contracts in the past 18 months or so, releasing CD's of new music in some cases for the first time in 15 years. In the footsteps of Motley Crue's double album, the stylishly snarling Billy Idol, the dark darlings New Order and the famously burly rapper Heavy D will be releasing new albums as well.

All have returned with attendant fanfare, sweeping across red carpets and past screaming fans at radio station visits and showcase concerts.

Yet despite the grass-roots enthusiasm and VH1 dogma - not to mention millions of dollars in marketing - the 80's are not selling. People may be donning the once-again fashionable styles of the era (even leg warmers and Flashdance tops) and dancing to the bands of their youth, but they are not going to the store to buy the albums. For the industry that bet on the revival, it's mourning in America.

Then, Mr. Thorpe clocks in with his return glance:

Bell Biv Devoe – Poison

If you can’t identify “Poison” by the chattering drum intro alone, then you’re hopelessly ill-equipped to have any meaningful discussions of modern music. Sorry, but that’s just the way it is. If someone says “never trust a big butt and a smile” and you don’t catch the reference, then you’re probably a complete square. These guys were destined to be big news in the New Jack Swing scene, since they cut their teeth in New Edition along with the esteemed Dr. Bobby Brown, who invented the genre mistakenly while trying to come up with a new material to make lighter tap shoes. I was delighted to find “Poison” included on the soundtrack to the latest Grand Theft Auto game, because it will introduce the song to a whole generation of twelve-year-olds who tricked their parents into buying a game about mulching officers of the law with a thresher. I don’t think I even have to tell you that “Poison” is still just as good as it’s ever been, or better. In fact, if anyone ever writes a better song than “Poison,” I’ll eat my hat.

Verdict: Caaan’t get it outta my heeaaad!

The Kevin Bacon game with bands

Band To Band is a service shows how any one band is connected to any other band by way of the changing members of the groups.

As an example, AC/DC connects to Blink 182 by:

• Manfred Mann's Earth Band via Chris Slade
• Eddie & The Hot Rods via Mick Rodgers
• UFO via Paul Gray
• Michael Schenker Group via Paul Raymond
• Contraband via Michael Schenker
• L.A. Guns via Tracii Guns
• Germs via Nickey Alexander
• Auntie Christ via D.J. Bonebrake
• Rancid via Matt Freeman
• Transplants via Tim Armstrong
• Blink 182 via Travis Barker

Of course, the actual site makes it much prettier, complete with album covers.

Why I don't have a web-cam

Actually, there are quite a few reasons, but one of them is so I don't accidently record and somehow release a video of me singing and dancing along to a song that's way, way out of my range.

The top 100 albums to, um, do the mattress mambo to

From the ladies at Suicide Girls, 100 albums to listen to while otherwise occupied.

For one thing, clearly these nice ladies have a rather inflated view of the average American male. For another thing, there are much better choices. Try Peter Gabriel's Passion as a far better accompaniment.

Thanks to Eppy for the tip.

Protecting your ears from loud noises

In the "that's neat" category, humming can make a loud noise less painful. Who'd a thunk it.

Who won the Wammies

If you're not from the DC area, you are probably wondering why someone is winning the bad guy from "Press Your Luck". Otherwise, you know that it's the local music awards. Here's A Hint has a rather scathing take on the whole affair. However, if you just want to know what did or didn't happen, check here.

Playing with the animals

I thought of my experiences at Bass/Nature Camp when I read this one.

Here’s Jim Nollman in action, playing guitar to a killer whale off the coast of Russia. An artist and environmental activist, he’s founder of Interspecies Inc, an organization promoting the artistic interaction of humans and animals.

At the camp, we spent a lot of time talking about the interaction of music and nature. this is a much more direct application of the concept. Could be interesting.

Recording voice-overs

While the write-up is focused on recording voice-overs, it's a pretty good high level overview for recording the human voice in any fashion.

The demise of women in rock

By the mid-Nineties female-led rock bands were everywhere. Sleeper, Elastica, Catatonia, Belly, The Breeders and Hole. Courtney Love was the new Janis Joplin, PJ Harvey was the new Patti Smith. We played as loud as the boys and partied harder. It felt potent. Liberating. Modern. For the briefest of moments, the genie was out of the bottle.

Fast forward 10 years and there's barely a female rock voice left. Of the 23 categories contested at this year's NME awards, a British female artist is nominated in only one: World's Sexiest Women. How has it come to this? Where is the female Alex Kapranos? Where are the female Razorlight? Didn't we make it easy for girls to become rock musicians and gain the respect of their male peers?

It's an interesting read from a former lady of the stage.

The first 90% is the easy part

I've found this to be true time and time again when it comes to creating anything.

Software engineers know the feeling you get at a certain point in a project. You're getting to the end of the list of things, you have another seemingly short list of things that are "done" but need to be tweaked or fixed -- you're ninety percent done! This is known in the biz as the point you have completed the first ninety percent. The second ninety percent is yet to come.

Starving artist is not just a cliche

Brad has an interesting article about musicians and their success.

It’s mostly anecdotes about famous or semi-famous musicians that have day jobs. It’s strange to me that this fact is still a mind blower.

Sometimes I wonder if artists being more up front about their earnings would impact file sharing. Something I’ve noticed is that many people exaggerate what they think musicians earn, which makes it easier to dismiss buying their albums after they download them. What’s $15 to an artist who’s riding around in a limosine [sic], right? What if you knew he took the bus? To work? Where he gets paid less than you?

It's not just a cliche. I have on good authority that a number of the guys from SR-71 work some fairly menial jobs in an effort to make ends meet. The funds from album sales and tour revenues just aren't enough to cover the bases.

Subdividing the musical genres

Well worth the chuckle, from the nice folks at Your Band Sucks:

• Metal: Okay, we know what this one is. This is where guys with long hair wail like tone-deaf banshees and play jerk-off guitar solos for arenas full of sleazy heshers with flimsy mustaches, dragon t-shirts, and 14-year-old girlfriends. I thought it died out in the late Eighties, but I guess some sorry souls are still clinging to its corpse.
• Fantasy Metal: Well, all metal fans play Dungeons and Dragons and read shitty fantasy novels. That’s just a given. But some of them are so nerdy that they can’t even enjoy their metal without explicit references to elves and swords and dragon-slaying. Hence this crap.
• Light Metal: I’ve never heard of it. Is it like light rock? Is it metal for sissies? Somewhere out there is there the metal equivalent of Christopher Cross? “When you get caught between the moon and Satan’s fiery maw…”
• Rap Metal: I’d say that rap metal is music for stupid people, but that’s not really fair. Everyone who listens to rap metal is stupid, but not all stupid people listen to rap metal.

Rock fonts

A collection of type fonts based on rock bands.

Thanks to David for the tip.

The origin of band names

I don't know how accurate this is, but it does make for entertaining reading.

• 311 -There is a consistent and somewhat silly rumor that 311 stands for KKK (K is the 11th letter in the alphabet). The band has denied the rumor many times and nothing about their persona or music reflects the bizarre Christian racist beliefs of the KKK.
  The official story : 311 is an Omaha police code for indecent exposure. One rainy day, P-Nut and some friends went skinny dipping in a public pool. They were apprehended by police. One of P-Nut's friends (Jim Watson) was arrested, cuffed (naked) and taken home to his parents. He was issued a citation for a code 311 (indecent exposure). We thought this was funny, so we took it as our band name. .. Since most interviewers always ask us "What does 311 mean?", we have come up with lots of different answers over the years."
• Dave Matthews Band - A couple similar stories : 1- a club owner mistakenly announced them as THE DAVE MATTHEWS BAND and popularity made it hard to change the name later 2- a printer shortened "Dave Matthews and his band" to DAVE MATTHEWS BAND for an announcement. The band was going to think of a new name but never got around to it.
• Goo Goo Dolls - Their label rejected their first name, THE SEX MAGGOTS. They were drunkenly looking through "True Detective" magazine and saw an ad on the back page for a "Goo Goo Doll". It was a doll head that you put your finger in to change it's expression.
• GWAR - Some rumors: "Gay Women Against Rape" (taken from Dave Gibbon's novel The Watchmen), "God What an Awful Racket", "Gods of War", etc.. A band member on the Jerry Springer Show said they were inspired by the "GWWAAAR" sound that monsters make in movies.
• Hole - Courtney's mom used to tell her "you can't go around with a hole in your head, just because you had a bad childhood"[clearly she didn't get the message --ed]
• MC 900 ft. Jesus - Inspired by the 900 foot tall Jesus Oral Roberts claims he saw in Oklahoma. The 900 foot Jesus told Oral Roberts he needed a few million dollars to continue his ministry and some rich sucker gave it to him.
• Nickelback - The bass player used to work at Starbucks coffee and spent many days saying "here's your nickel back."
• The Pogues - Shortened from "Pogue Mahone", which is a distorted version of Póg Mo hÓn, which is Irish Gaelic for "kiss my ass"
• Rush - Two stories: 1- They named themselves after a product called "Rush" that was popular in head shops in the 70's. "Rush" was similar to "poppers" and gave a quick head rush. 2- They were rushing to think up a name before their first gig, and John Rusty's older brother yelled, "Why don't you call your band RUSH?". -- A silly Christian rumor says the band name means "Ruled Under Satan's Hand".
• Spandau Ballet - This was a Nazi guard term for the contortions of Jewish prisoners being gassed to death. There was a large gas chamber in the city of Spandau.

Thanks to Shahin for the tip.

A potential new gig

A guy with whom I used to play contacted me about maybe doing a one week USO tour. More info on the way, when and if it materializes.

Anthony steps out

Anthony Wellington, bassist, teacher, all around good guy and friend, will be performing at this years BassQuake AfterShock this year. Occuring during the NAMM show in Anaheim, quite a few bassists will be there, including Norm Stockton as well as Drue Williams.

I've been studying with Anthony for about a year and a half, two years now. I've even had the privilege of seeing him play live twice, but I have yet to see him step out in front and let it all hang out. While I won't have the opportunity to check out this show for myself (I'll be in DC that night), if you have the opening, it will be well worth your time to check him out.

And congrats again, Anthony.

An 8-ball for music

Gerd has created a magic 8 ball for music matters.

Get married, write bad music

A "study" (whatever that means, there's no supporting documentation) indicates that married people are not as creative as single folk.

A study of 280 successful scientists found that their creativity tended to diminish once they got married. This also held true for musicians, painters and authors.

Thanks to Glenn for the tip.

Ashlee Simpson given a big whack with the clue stick

Ya'd think that if 70,000 people boo you off the stage, that'd be a subtle hint that you are no talent waste of oxygen. Ya might think that...

Thanks to the recently resurrected TMFTML for the tip.

Deep doo doo

When Britney Spears writes about "True Masters" (her caps, not mine), you know the level of crap can only be rising.

My Christmas was wonderful and I had such a great break. I think I should rephrase myself from my previous letters when I was talking about taking a “break”. What I meant was I am taking a break from being told what to do. True Masters say it’s cool when you look at someone and don’t know whether they are at work or play since it’s all the same to them.

Unfortunately, it looks like her two year extended break from music is over. Dammit.

And let's not forget this little gem:

On a different note, I have a new dog named Lucky and I just bought her a new dresser for her room. Yes, she has a room, which she shares with Bit Bit. For Christmas, they got a baby chandelier to go in it. It’s the cutest thing in the world!

A baby chandelier for your dog. Words fail me.

Jenny Jenny

A quest to call up all the 867-5309's in America, Via Andy.

Human vocal ranges

An interesting article about the range of the human voice and the pieces written at the extreme edges.

The lowest note Mozart wrote however is low D for Osmin in Seraglio (Ha, wie will ich triumphieren). Monteverdi wrote also twice a low D, the first is at the death of Seneca in L'Incoronazione di Poppea. The second in the fragmentary opera Il Ritorno di Ulisse in Patria. ... More than these low notes and the high g3 - from the already mentioned KV316 - is 'normally' not possible, there's little room to manoeuvre for the human voice. ... Here you can hear Viktor Wichniakov, one of the famous Russian Basso Profundo, with a double low G (from the Contra-octave range, C1-B1, European notation) at the end.

And, here's another little detail:

Pop-diva Mariah Carey hits during two different live renditions of the song "Emotions" a G7#-note, the highest note in the history of recorded music.

At least all those ridiculous acrobatics have some purpose.

Thanks to Lynn for the tip.

Acid reflux not withstanding

While Ashlee can burp the entire alphabet (and is proud of that accomplishment), Jessica is still the belching champ of the family. Their parents must be so proud.

Gift of the year

The bestest gift went to my mother. My father, my brother and myself picked up a keyboard for her.

See, there's a story here. My mother got her college degree in music education quite a few years ago. She went on to teach third and fourth grade for a few decades, retiring only last year.

While I was growing up, we had a piano in the basement. Every so often, my mom would go downstairs and play it. Generally, only when she thought no one else was around. I'm not sure as to why when no one else was there; maybe she didn't feel comfortable playing around others, maybe it was just for herself, I really don't know. In any case, it was an occasional thing, but sometimes I would come home and hear her playing some Mozart or a Bach piece.

About ten years ago, my folks got rid of the upright piano. It took up too much space, it was expensive to maintain it, the wood was starting to warp, etc. Ever since then, both my brother and I would say that she should get a keyboard, on the basis that if it was a big enough a part of her life to study it for four years in her youth, it's probably something that she might like to try again.

Well, earlier this year, she made an offhand comment to my father about how it might be nice to have a keyboard. So, Dad asked Mike and I to pick one up for him.

When we brought it out to her on Christmas, she was so surprised that she was completely speechless for a bit. After Mike walked her through some of the features of the keyboard, she started to play Moonlight Sonata -- from memory! There were a few wrong notes, but it was far better than I could have done.

Later on, she was working through the accompaniment part of the keyboard's programming. Built into the machine out of the box is Norah Jones' Don't Know Why, complete with score and lyrics. It just happens to be the first tune in the song catalog. My mom picked up the tune and sight read the music (at about 90% accuracy) on the very first try, without having played piano for 10 years and not being all that familiar with the song.

That's just simply impressive as all get out.

Merry Christmas again, mom.

Who's who on Sgt. Pepper's

Click on the face to find out who's who on the Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band album.

Thanks to Brad for the tip.

A conversation about bass solos

Here's A Hint has a discussion about bass solos and why there shouldn't be any. If that's how he/she feels, here's to hoping that he doesn't catch any of the Canvas shows...

Only when you understand why almost no one wants to hear a bass solo, can you begin to understand what it would take to actually play one that was listenable (your first clue is that not even Flea works a bass solo into every song). Just because you can play in 11/14 doesn't mean it's creative or interesting.

This makes me think of something that I've heard both Victor and Anthony say a few times: "It's easy to play solos for other bass players; they're impressed by technical stuff. It's much harder to play for a kid; they only care about whether or not the music sounds good."

I actually have to write a solo for Sunday's show (the original plan fell through -- Sorry Rob). While I know I could just throw together a bunch of chops, that won't make anyone happy, least of all me.

A giant step for mankind

This is just so cool. A visual representation of the chord progression in Giant Steps. There's also an explanation as to how the chords move.

How to survive burnout

I know that there have been a number of times when I just don't particularly feel the urge to go and play. Or, to be a bit more accurate, I don't feel that urge as strongly.

What was once fun and challenging feel stupid and annoying. Or perhaps the things that used to motivate or move you don’t resonate at all. You feel nothing for them. It all just seems like so much more crap to deal with. If this sounds familiar, or you fear that this day is in your future, this essay is for you.

Some more ideas on how to deal with burnout.